Sorry. I've been way under the radar the last month. Most of you know my dad died over the holidays so I haven't been feeling particularly jolly, definitely not very motivational. Just taking time to reflect...
But it's the new year and I want to express how much love and gratitude I have for all of you who called, emailed, sent cards, met up with me for walks, gave me memorial plants, and just plain blew me away with your profound kindness. One friend told me that when her aunt died someone told her to "let the love in". I think so many of us live a busy life, a life of being self sufficient and "I'm-fine-really-I-don't-need-anything" when really we need love, compassion, maybe even a little fawning over. And that can be a hard thing to do. I guess it's the whole vulnerability thing. (I think Brene Brown sums it up perfectly in this video.)
My dad was a always a trooper and even at the very end he wanted to have his hospice bed where he could look out the window and see the trees. He always made the best of every situation. He gave love unconditionally. Maybe that was because he said he was part dog. "Bill Dog" Jackson. You know how kids go out of their way to do really sweet things that, as we turn into adults, we don't always still take the time to do? Well, my dad kept doing little things that meant so much to the receivers of his efforts. He didn't do it to get anything in return. No ulterior motives. He just wanted to make people happy. Which in turn made him happy.
I guess I'm babbling, but I just want to say thank you. I'll miss my dad just like everyone else who's lost a loved one. How we deal with things and move forward varies from person to person. I have great genes and parents that give me the power to see the bright side of things, even in bleaker times. I'm forever grateful to my friends and family and for having an awesome daddy who made the effort to live a great life. May we all do the same and say thank you every day.